Almost There

Here we go with the routine dusting. Hey ho people.

December is here and what's been happening? Quite a bit. Recently just handed in all my assignments and thus, I'm free. *sniff* Ahhh, that lovely, fresh smell of FREEDOM, except, that it's not really freedom just yet. One more final paper to go, MPU Hubungan Etnik. Damn this subject. What makes it worse is that it's going to take a week before the paper. I could have booked an earlier flight and flew back to home sweet home if it wasn't for this paper. So as it is, got my ticket for the 19th. I miss home cooked food so much.

Enough about the MPU, I recently just went for my routine check up. 2nd one to note. I must say, I received some really good news. Here's how it went with the doctor.

Doc:"Based on the X-ray, your bones have fused together."

Me:"Serious?!"

Yeah. Just a short conversation. Then he did some checks and stuff. The things doctors do while checking up their patient and all. Funny thing was, it only took half the amount of time the doctor originally gave me for the recovery period. He said it takes about 3 months for the bones to fuse together, and another 3 months for the bones to be fully healed. The accident was on the 19th of October, so yeah, that's more or less 1 and a half months since then and my bones have fused. You know what? I think I might actually have Wolverine's healing factor. A diluted version of it but some really cool healing powers indeed......just kidding. I'm just glad it healed fast.

Officially allowed on the bicycle again. Time to bring my beloved bike out for some sunshine, wind and adventure. Just in time too, cause I've got some time to kill before the MPU final paper. Maybe I might just drop by the library as well, to look at people studying and stressing about their final paper. Perks of studying design, the non-existence of the term "Final Exam/Paper".

Anyway, that's all for this routine dust up.

Cheers,

Vincent

Something new

It's time for a routine dust off. Been a long time since my last post and a lot has happened. To whoever still drops by occasionally, sorry you guys are stuck with so little updates. Too many things going on, and I'll just try to summarise the happenings that came about this past few months.

As you guys may know, from my previous posts, I'm currently undergoing my studies at Swinburne University of Technology, Sarawak Campus. That's in Kuching, nice place really. Been here for a little over six weeks already, and I must say I've pretty much settled into the living style here. Being away from home doesn't really bother me, still miss home cooking occasionally, but everything is going well. The classes were a little mix of old and new, learning some new stuff while brushing up on skills I learnt whilst in diploma. It's a great experience here as I get the chance to mix with a lot of international students and learn more about their country and culture, as a matter of fact, because of the diverse student culture, Swinburne organizes a cultural night event every year where students perform their cultural specialties or just take the chance to perform. I was lucky my enrolment was timed just right as I got to experience this event.

 So far, I've already passed the middle mark of the semester and ended my mid term break(JUST today actually). The first half went well I would say and then it's onwards to another 6 weeks and I'll end my Semester 2 Year 2. Recently, actually just a week ago, I acquired a bicycle.

700c Nexus Hybrid Bike

I got a bike for a few reasons, transport being one of the few reasons, and recreation being another. Why a hybrid bike? Because mainly, I'll only be using it for road and minimal off road. This bike can handle gravel as well as "kampung" roads no issue. It's a great bike, even though I only managed to take it out for a spin no more than 5 times. Pretty sad, huh? Why? Cause foolhardy me went and attempted a ramp take-off. 

Like I said in the title, "Something new", and by that, I meant, loads of new experiences. This was, as painful as it was, something new to me, as well as exciting. Back 4 years, while I was still in high school, I used to do a lot of "little" stunts with my then MTB(Mountain Bike). It wasn't a really high end model but at RM450, it was a pretty damn good bike with full suspension and toughness to take a beating. Which in the end got stolen by some scumbag, whoever it was, hope it serves him well like it did for me(posted about this ages back). 

So, I went on a cycling session with the Swinburne Cycling Club and they brought us to a dirt trail to have some fun. A little too much fun for me I guess, when I decided to do the ramp take-off. I borrowed one of the cycling member's MTB cause my hybrid for sure wouldn't be able to pull off the stunt. Went for it but close to the ramp, I faltered and braked, causing me to lose momentum. Which ended with me plunging down the ramp rather than flying off it. The resulting fall cause me to fracture my left collarbone which required a surgery to realign it back as well as a metal plate and 7 screws.

Fractured collarbone, overlapping

Although it was a pretty serious thing, I just felt excited throughout the whole ordeal(okay maybe a little nervous cause...surgery). Everything was a new experience to me and I'm pretty glad I got this chance to experience things like this while I'm still young and capable and able to go the extreme. Don't get me wrong, a broken bone is no fun, but experience on the other hand is, priceless.

I was in really good spirits throughout the ordeal, dad even flew down to make sure I was alright(feeling guilty about this). But we got to spend some quality time together. I also thought I was gonna be lectured, but then, they just said, they warned me and I had to be responsible for my own decisions, which was my broken bones.

Before the surgery, submitting some assignments (with one hand)

After the surgery

Pretty much in good spirits

 I was discharged after three days in the hospital with no signs of complications. Overall, I'd say I had a really eventful mid term break. I have to wear a sling when I walk for the first two weeks after ther surgery but my arms can still function normally for typing and writing. A really good experience for me in my opinion. Now, I'm just making sure I take care of myself and get a speedy recovery and have my bones joined back together. 

Today, begins my 2nd half of the semester, and things are bound to get busier. I guess, you guys won't be hearing from me for a while(again). Video of the fall can be watched here. It's kinda funny watching myself. I can even laugh at myself, weird.

Here's to another one of the longest post I've done.

Cheers

Vincent Loke

P.S.: I'm so sorry bike, just wait for me for a while longer alright?

I'll take you out onto the road again. Soon I hope.

30 Days, onwards.

31st July 2014.

The day that marked the end of my job period with Linkz Event. We had a celebration for a colleagues birthday, as well as a farewell lunch for me. It wasn't a grand big thingy, but it's the thought that counts. It felt good knowing that I played my part well and that they thought of having a farewell lunch for me, even though I was only with them for 3 months.

The Linkz Event family =)

Thinking back, I couldn't really recall much about how hard it was when I first started working at Linkz. Trying to get used to the time schedule, office conduct, workflow and system. But after a week it didn't seem to matter anymore. I got used to the office, and slowly got comfortable. During my time with them, I learnt more than what I first expected when I took up the job. I learnt a thing or two about running and managing an event, how to secure sponsorships, and overseeing the running of the event on site. Even though I was a graphic designer, they gave me the opportunity to learn outside of just my profession.

I was given an experience into what the working world was like. The office never really felt like an office. My colleagues were always helpful and fun to talk to, even though work is work and play is play, and we balanced between those two, they always gave pointers when I had questions, never answers. "That's how you get to learn." They would say, to which I agree. We had company trips, as well as lunch outings. Those were fun times, as I got to experience what they meant by "After office hours bonding".

Now, I'll be preparing for my next hurdle. Further studies. Thank you for the great referral letter and thank you so much for everything. Short as 3 months may be, during my period with Linkz Event, I've overcome and learnt a lot.

Much love, such touching referral letter. =')

Next up, in 30 days, onwards to degree studies. I'm so pumped.

Cheers~

Vincent

7 days to go

*blows dust off this place* Wow, it's been awhile. I'm surprised there are still people reading this not-very-active blog of mine. Thanks for the...readership I guess? 

So yeah, a few posts back, I wrote about getting three offer letters from three different universities and colleges that I have applied to. Finally made my choice about a week back actually, but I didn't have time to talk about it. I'll get to why later. 

Decided on Swinburne University of Technology, Sarawak. Reason was because they made me an offer I could not refuse(no, not really.) The offer letter that came in was for Multimedia Design, and I was given an exemption of 12 subjects, making my study duration 1.5 years. Don't ask me, I have no idea how this thing works, but I'm just glad I got an offer letter. Seems like I would be starting in September, which is kinda just a month to go. I'm actually pretty excited because this is a new experience for me to be alone and manage myself in a foreign place. Might miss home from time to time but oh well, can't always be too dependant. Guess my parents trained me well during my college days to source my transportation and everything else (almost did everything myself). I was pretty lucky too to decide early, cause I snagged myself a good deal on the flight ticket there (Air Asia promo :D). Yeah, I'm going alone. So August would be a lot of packing getting some important items, gonna get most of the daily stuff when I'm settled down over there though.

So yeah, why was I so busy? Work. It's finally coming to an end. Soon. 7 working days really. That's just a week to go. Time sure flies and without really keeping track, I've already been in the company for close to three months. I will really miss the place, because the working environment and my colleagues were really helpful and always helpng me grow. I've learnt a few things about working life while with them, and though there were some stressful moments, the outcome at the end after a project was worth it. I joined the company for the experience, and I got what I started off aiming with. Rushing and tying up loose ends before I leave at the end of the month, completing the major artworks before handing them over to the next designer to ease her burden (responsibility, in-grained into me). Also the reason I'm up at 2.15a.m today. Double checking some of the assignments and artworks that are close to completion or completed.

Most importantly, I really thank them because they were there to keep my mind off things and made me focus on what was most important at hand, the job and priorities. For that, I will always be thankful to have learnt from them.

Till next post (If I have something undust this place with)

Cheers

Vincent Loke

Life and Nature

Hello to all the unknown and known people out there who still, somehow, sometimes, check up and reads the stuff that I post. I know you're out there. *does the I'm watching you thingy*

Life has been good to me lately, or maybe I'm focusing a lot on the good side. Just went on a company trip to Ulu Yam yesterday for a BBQ picnic. So, where is this..Ulu Yam? Truth be told I have no idea either, except that it's close to Batu Caves. It's one of those nature getaway spots that let's people enjoy nature. Playing in the river, escaping from the cityscape, that sort of thing.

Back to the main topic, BBQ. Yeah, so a bunch of us went all the way there and had a BBQ picnic, and it was awesome. For one, have you ever had a BBQ-on-water? Yes, you heard me right, and it literally means that. BBQ. On. Water. Here let me show you.

While most people are concerned about keeping the charcoal dry and the flames going, we at Linkz Event, try to do things differently. We challenge the two elements to present this, BBQ-On-Water experience. Totally worth it. I met a whole bunch of new people, made friends and ate lots of good stuff prepared by everyone. Yeah, the food selection was kind of a potluck thing, but I'm not complaining. Food was great!

LINKZ FAMILY!

 We had an awesome time at Ulu Yam. Even learnt a new thing. Cooking bacon in a tin foil. I must say, it tastes so damn satisfyingly awesome.

Just look at it. Swimming in it's own sweet fat juices. Makes me drool just remembering how good it tasted. *drools*

Anyway, till next time people =)

Cheers,
Vincent

P.S: Compulsory photo if you're at a river.

King of the Rock. Totally.

Decisions, decisions

The week has been tough. Work has been fun, but tough at times. It's to be expected since, this would be my final month working in this company as their Graphic Designer. No, I did not get fired. In fact, three sort of good news came in the form of emails. Which brings me to the point of the title. Decisions.

Offer letters/ credit transfer application results came in. Swinburne, KBU, and INTI. After about a month of waiting. I guess, good things come to those who wait?

Now all that's left is for me to decide on which offer to accept.

Decisions, decisions indeed. While rushing all the final artworks to get them done by middle of July so that I can leave work in peace to further my studies. It's only early July, but it seems like August is gonna be a busy month for me.

Cheers~

Vincent

To memories, to possibilities, to future.

[This is gonna be one of the longest post I've ever did. Be warned]

Recently, I've been watching a few on Wong Fu's short videos. Even repeated some of them up to 20 or so times. For some reason some of the videos just felt relate-able to me. The few that really caught my attention was 

"Somewhere Like This"

"Two After Noon"

"Strangers Again" (Director's Commentary)

"Shell"

Probably the few that really got me through my depression stage.

15th June. That's today. This date and a few others are a significant part of my life. How so? They're just dates, how can numbers be anything? Well, it's because this "numbers" have a meaning to them. Maybe that's something about me that's a bit of a good thing, and a bad thing at times. I put meaning into a lot of things.

It was this date two years ago that I met her. We met and things just happened and we clicked. That was the start of one of the greatest moments in my life. We got together, we got to know each other, we learnt about each other. We spent time together and almost everyday, we would talk and ask about each others day. It was a great feeling, to love, and be loved. We shared almost everything with each other, no secrets, no lies. Just understanding. We had our occasional fights, but we always made up with each other. There was the occasional cold wars, but we still apologized to each other and we easily made up with each other. I guess I was a bit difficult to handle at times. But throughout our relationship of a year and nine months, we had more ups than downs. The times we spent together, the commute that I took to meet her everytime, whether it was her place or university, even though both of which took two hours, it was worth it.

I remember the day I introduced her to my parents, they took an instant liking to her, although firm with their point of concentrate on studies before relationship, they liked her nevertheless. I got introduced to her family as well, went on a trip together. The moments we shared together while working on our hobby, cosplaying. She was the first that made me go through so much and do so much as well as grow so much. Together, we learnt and faced so much. I was there for her when she was at her lowest, and she was always there for me when I was at my lowest. We were almost perfect for each other.

The only thing that wasn't was probably our timing. For awhile, for a long while in fact, the moments, the times were right. Close to a month before we broke up, I admit that I was being a bit difficult. I was at the point where I didn't know what I wanted to do and things was just going downhill around me, I may have took it out on her a bit, but she was there encouraging me while being busy with her own studies. To the point that I guess, it got too much to handle. When I found out she was thinking about "breaking up", truth be told, I was hurt. I always thought that we would work things out together, that we can face anything life throws at us. 

I tried everything I could to show her that there was an alternative, that there was a way to work through this but I slowly came to accept the fact that, it wasn't right for me to force someone to stay when they didn't want to. I guess you were right when you said that we were young, that there was still so much ahead of us. So when you made your choice, it just wasn't right for me to hold you back. I truly believe though, that while we lasted, it was love and that I truly and full-heartedly loved you. 

You said you wanted to focus on your studies and get a degree. I'm sure you can achieve that. As for me, I should concentrate on completing mine. We both agreed that we would stay friends, though awkward as it may be at first.

All I can do now is to wish you all the best, as much as I want to be there for you every step of the way as you were for me, I can only do so as a friend now. If you ever need some supportive help, I would be there for you as a friend.

Will we hate each other?

This  was taken from "Strangers Again". Something that I hope we can both understand if you end up reading this. 

"I think that if life separates us, and we end up in totally different places, I'd always remember when our paths aligned for this period in time. And I'll be thankful. And I'll hope that, wherever you are, you'd be thankful too. I think that's the best we could wish for." 

I just hope you wouldn't hate me. It's time I let you go. "Keep the memories, but let her go. If things were meant to be, it will happen" they say. I guess that's what I will do. So this "Box of Memories" of mine, I would cherish it.

I'm jut glad we both ended it on mutual, good terms.

And that's the best I could wish for.

Thank you. For everything. 

"You will always be the Yuna to my Tidus."

Hope that everything will work out in the end, someday, somewhere.

Officially 31 days.

This place has become where I pour myself out. I'm lucky I guess, not being one of those popular most read blogs.

It's been 31 days since that day. The day we went from "relationship" to "friends". I've been drowning myself out with work just to get over the feelings. Yes, I won't lie that it hurts. Especially when I'm alone, and there's nothing on my mind. It's then that the memories come back. I miss her, miss the things we did together, miss the times.

But I know I'm hanging in there. It's not the end. I just hope that the day would come when I can finally pen down the eulogy to our memories with a neutral, nostalgic, casual feeling. Understanding that life comes first. Priorities change.

And that day might come soon.

I'll be fine.

Acceptance, Hope, and Possibilities

So it has finally come to a close. A separation. We both go out separate ways with the mutual agreement that, right now, we have other priorities in life. I was glad that it ended on good terms. I'm not saying it doesn't hurt, but we managed to work this out. 

The times we've had were great. With more ups than downs. We both understood each others perfect imperfections. Putting smiles on each others face, being there for each other, sharing ideas and thoughts. I will miss the company, I will miss the touch, I will miss the embrace, I will miss the warmth. I let it go not because my feelings faded, it hasn't. Rather, because the feelings were strong that I wanted her to explore the world, see her possibilities, and achieve what she can. I'm sure she thinks that of me too. There was so much that I wanted to say, to hold her back. But that would only be selfish of me. She meant so much more to me.

She's seen me at my lowest point. She's seen my dark side. She's seen my vulnerable point. My flaws and imperfections. Time would heal I know, and during then, I would improve on myself. I would achieve what I can. Reach for the furthest I can go. So that someday, if our paths crossed again, she would see me at my best. This period, I am glad that we both agreed to salvage what we had and try being friends. The memories would serve as a stepping stone to improve myself.

I would miss her from time to time. She would meet other people, learn new things. I would probably think about her from time to time. But I know that, I have to work on my flaws. At my age, I believe I have a vague idea of what I want in life. When my personal well being is taken care of, then I may, pursue her again. I might not, but I might.

 

I have hopes. Hopes of possibilities.

 

 

P.S: I'd be there if you need me. For I made a promise. A promise at the resting bed of a significant person. That I would be there for you as long as you need me. Maybe not as intimate as before, but a listening ear, a shoulder for you to lean on, a relaxed moment of laughter, a back for you to hide behind, and someone who understands you without needing words.

It's never the end till you're six feet underground.

Of acceptance, priorities, and life.

Oh! Today is Mother's Day! Not that it should mean you should only treat your mom specially today. However, it being a day dedicated to that one important person who gave life to you, it should be extra special. Do cherish your mom wherever you are. A phone call, a video call, a card, flowers, dinner, meal together. Anything can do. She spent years bringing us up, caring for us, facing our tantrums and attitude. You only get one mom. 

Knowing that, eveyday should be mother's day, but for those out there whose life get's in the way in the sense of work, just one day won't kill you =) 

That little concern, that little time, could go a long long way for the one who suffered 9 months to bring us into the world. Who continued to look after us after those 9 long months and shared our joy and sadness as well as pain, success, and stayed with us each step we took in life. =)

A child is closest to their mother because, while in her care, it was two hearts beating in one.

Happy Mother's Day =) 

My lovely mom =)

p.s: I've come to the point that, whatever happens, I'm ready for it. I've already did all that I could and left all others to be seen and felt. I believe things will work one way or another, in a certain manner, in some plot twist. It just happens =)

How

It's been a long time since my cheeks had this much moisture. Not in a good way. I really don't know what I should do other than pretend and go along with everything.

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Everything was fine

Everythng was great

When did it all changed?

When did it all happened?

How can you take it

If someone you cared so much for

Just stopped caring

Words of endearment no longer meant anything

The warmth that just isn't the same

The passion that just isn't there

How can you take it

If someone your heart has found a home in

Just sweeps it away

Apologies meant nothing

Memories brushed aside

Live life not even bothered

How can you take it

When you start to miss the passion

When you start to long for the laughter

When you don't even know whether to call out words of endearment

When you start to break apart

Knowing that you yourself caused this

When the question surfaces

"What's wrong?"

And you know what's wrong

But the words just catches itself

You choke back words and tears alike

And pretend that nothing was amiss

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 I really don't know anymore. What's right to do, what's wrong. What should I say, what can't I say.

 I find relief in writing. Cause at least there's a way for me to release myself. That's what writing is for isn't it?

Turn

 I was glad. Glad that I could show you that I could do something for you. Deep down we're not that different at all.

Sometimes it doesn't really show, but I am trying. To improve, to succeed, and to provide security. Yes, it may seem I don't have much to offer now, but I've never stopped giving. 

I am doing what I can. I am doing what I know best. What the future brings, we never know. Why not take a leap of faith? I know I can be better, I know I can be just as good. I know I have it in me.

It's not that I didn't want to. It's just that I wanted to be sure. I wanted to know. I wanted to be ready for what I will end up doing for the next decade of my life. I want to be able to show you that I am as capable as any other person.

We can be stronger. We can go through this. We can and I know.

"Faith can turn things around. Where there is darkness, there can be light" - Victoria Osteen

Have faith.

p.s.:

Please, don't take this the wrong way. I am in no way pressuring. I just want myself and you to remember what we've been through and how we got through them. I have become a better person since then and I am still improving myself. That should be something in itself =)

They say things we want to

Writing is really a way to take your mind off things. Why? Because you think of what to type out next to each word and then you think whether you used the right words, right grammar or even right vocabulary in that one sentence. Then you check the sentences for typo error. Makes me wonder why I never took up copywriting. Probably cause I only when the mood hits.

Lately my mind keeps remembering this one song. For some reason it's set on auto repeat.

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I'm telling you

I softly whisper

Tonight...

Tonight...

You are my angel

Aishiteru yo

Futari wa hitotsu ni

Tonight...

Tonight...

I just say

Wherever you are, I'll always make you smile

Wherever you are, I'm always by your side

Whatever you say, Kimi wo omou kimochi

I promise you forever right now

I don't need a reason

I just want you baby

Alright...
Alright...
Day after day

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 Wherever you are by One Ok Rock http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NouEgC8RtxE

I remember singing this song, and I meant every word. Took me awhile to pick this song because, I don't say forever easily, but when I do, I want it to mean something.

Believe - 101

101th. That's this post number. No celebration for this though.

I believe that things happen for a reason. It's to make us see what matters and to grow stronger.

I believe in promises. Because I try my best to never break any of them if I could.

I believe that we can change. Because I am trying to change for the better.

I believe in feelings. It's what makes life be what it is.

I believe that everything has a solution. Because the world would be doomed if it came to a standstill.

I believe in chances. That's where you find opportunity, changes, and new experiences.

I believe in many things but this, I think this few are what matters most.

I also believe in what we had. I believe in you.

Giving

It's not normal for me to be posting so often. But who cares anyway? I'm not posting for anyone. Sometimes we just need words to voice out what we can't say not because we can't, but we're afraid of what the consequences are as well as how it may sound.

I care a lot about things. When things that matter to me most are before me, I would do what I can to make things work. When life get's in the way, I believe that there are ways to overcome. I moan, I cry, and yes, I complain. But we all do. What matters after is that whether you pick yourself up or come to a stand still. Whether we just leave things as is and turn to another. Most of us would pick ourselves up. That's a given. 

Life's a bell curve, you go up, where the happy times are, then you fall, for those are the times where you learn what matters most. Everyone is built different and that being too much alike only repels. Why are we built differently? Cope differently? That's the way we are made. My personal guess is that we were meant to complement the lack in another whilst the other does the same.

I give everything I have. Not because I can. Not because it's a must. It's because I want to. It's because I see something in it. I value the things that come by. We give a little, we sacrifice a little. We gain a little, we receive a little.

There are multiple ways to make it through. Believe in me who believes in you.

Minds and thoughts

Thinking too much and worrying over things. That's human. I'm worried yes. So much. I'd give anything just to have the good times back. When it didn't matter as long as we we're together, we could do anything.

Love is a test of time, not feelings. Feelings come and go as time passes. What matters is that both party can find the feeling to stay strong together.

You can't change how a person thinks. Their mind is their own. You can only convince them to see that there are other alternatives.

Change. We are made for change. If there is something not so desirable, you are always entitled to change that part of you for the better. Humans don't act and stay as they are, we adapt and change and make ourselves better.

Breaking up is the easy way of taking things. So you can just run away. That's what they say. I really never thought of this. I've only thought of, how do we work through this? How do we fix this?

I just feel like poring all this out. I feel better letting this out in words than to keep it pent up inside of me. I feel, I know, I understand.

Of aches and changes

I've been drifting in and out of sleep. I can't even think well. Why is it that everytime April comes, everything has to be so hard? I'm not sure if it's April having some vengeance on me or whatnot.

Sometimes, it amazes me how feelings can change so fast. How promises don't mean a thing and memories are just, memories.

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I've tried my best

I've given my best

Little did I know

That even that was not enough

A little doubt

A little thought

It was all it takes

To cause so much pain

Love is hard

Love is painful

But I know it's just as rewarding

But I know it's just as worth it

The things we had

The things we did

I had hoped that it would be strong enough

I had hoped that it would hold us together

All I hope for

Is that things work out

Is that memories meant something

Is that you would find that feeling again

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I am so messed up. Why? This is the thing about feelings. It's shocking. It changes so fast. 

So fast, so much.... That it's so scary. I hate myself for doing this to myself.

Risks and stakes

They say, that when someone has nothing to lose, nothing left to be tied to, they are free. There is nothing at stake. Nothing to hold them back. Nothing to stop them.

When someone has something to lose, something they care for, they are tied. There is so much at risk. Every move has to be made carefully.

Most of the world have something they live for. Something that they hang on to. Someone even. Everyone has something to lose. To be free of being tied, is just too small a margin to be.

I am the same like everyone else. I have something and someone to lose. I cannot be free, yet I do not want to be free.

WE are all made to look for love. Even if it hurts us in more ways than one, yet we still look for it. Masochistic maybe, but it's the one thing that everyone deems worth it. Even if scrapped, broken, torn, hit and thrown.

I have something and someone to lose. I wonder, am I in the same position to anyone else?

I wonder if I am held on to, afraid to be let go off.

Picking up the pieces

It's 3am. I am still not ready to answer the calls of my pillow as it yearns for my head lie upon it. I am still not ready for the darkness that would welcome me. I am still not ready for what will come after I close my eyes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cracks upon the walls

Cracks upon the windows

Cracks upon the paintings

Cracks upon the memories.

You came to me when I was not myself

You held me when I was unable to feel

You heard me when I was unable to speak

You saw me when I could not see myself.

Why was I too focused

Why was I too absorbed

Why was I too blinded

To see that there were more to be.

I saw that tear when you didn't see

I heard that cry when you didn't speak

I felt that pain when you didn't show

I stood by drowned in myself

You walked away

I moved forward

You turned away

I reached for you.

Deep down the pain grew

Deep down love fought.

As we moved

I picked up the pieces

As we moved

I put the pieces together

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I still hang on as things have been hard. I believe that we are made for each other. Life get's hard sometimes but then we get through it together. We've been through this before.

21st on the 21st of April

Recently, I celebrated my 21st birthday. Welcome Adulthood. It was the usual wishes, cake, and same old day. There was one thing that really made it special though. This marks the 2nd year I'm celebrating my birthday with my dearest girlfriend. That's special enough for my birthday celebration. Literally having her with me is special enough to make my day, that was why I told her not to get me anything for my birthday. Little did I know she went ahead and got me one.

 

"Hey, I got you something for your birthday." she told me.

"Oh, I thought I told you not to." I said, "Just you being with me is good enough" :I

"B-but, it's handmade!" she says

"O-oh. Okay then..." I smiled

*Passes me a box which I open*

"I-it's a scarf." I said.

"Y-yeah, cause you said you were going to further your studies overseas," she said, "Didnt know it wouldn't happen."

"I-I'd still be going...only a year later, hopefully." I said.

"S-so, do you like it?" she asks.

*Tries it on*

" It's..comfy," I said, "Thanks dear" =)

 (>///w////<) (<<<< that was her reaction, blushing)

 

The scarf she made

 

 I really appreciate her effort in making this for me as well as her being thoughtful. If you're reading this, dear, I really really love you. Thank you for putting up with me this long. The things we've been through together and the memories we've made, and that we're still together. =)

Thank you for everything and my birthday wish? I can't tell you that. It might make it lose it's effect.

P.s: I-It's not l-like I reallllyyy treasure it o-or anything   >////A////<

One Four Four Two O One Four

Time really flies. Even more so when you actually sit down and think about it. A year and a half back, I was still a college student going about life as a college student(duh) and enjoying my hobbies. Spent certain weekends going to ACG events and cosplaying.

Fast forward 613 days(more or less). I've been through small arguments, little disagreements, periods of cold silence. There were happy times too, laughing together times, enjoying each other's company. In that period of time, I graduated from college with a diploma, she graduated from foundation and moved on to a degree course. Six hundred and thirteen days more or less in rough calculations, we've been together. She regularly puts up with my temper issues, my jealousy bouts, my weird moments.

Yeap, she's the one I'm talking about. She's petite, but she doesn't let that stop her. She's just as strong willed as anyone. Enough to put up with my antics at times. I am truly happy to have her by my side.

Ps: Love you

Love for armors

Hi guys! Today I'll be doing a review on something from our childhood. It was also a recent hit in cinemas for all walks of ages. No idea what it is? It's something you build using brick blocks. LEEGGOOOOOOO!!

Been ages since I played with one. Just today I happened across one and thought why not? Got a box for myself. It wasn't an original manufactured by Lego toy though, more of a China bootleg merchandise. But, I am very very very very very impressed(note how I used 5 very's. I am that impressed). For a bootleg model, it has really good details, the joints function well, workmanship was great. If I were to give it a rating of 1- 10 I'd say probably 7, 7.5, maybe 8?

Presenting the

Decool brand. Iron Man variant, War Machine

The packaging looked good, details and illustrations were nice. What's in the box?

The box includes the instruction manual and parts for the War Machine

There was extra parts. They provided extra of those red circle parts.

A look on Rhode's face. He wasn't too pleased.

The War Machine came with two faces, an angry determined looking one on one side, and a calm determined one on the back. Kinda like Good Cop, Bad Cop from The Lego Movie.

Normal face

Not so happy face

Yeah, don't mess with the blac- I mean don't mess with War Machine. He might mess you up.

Fully assembled and put on stand

Helmet open look

I kinda liked the angry look. Gives him more realistic feel. I used the extra red parts for the cannon as extension. Overall it was a solid design, limbs were a bit stiff but a bit of swivelling around should help. Head was a bit lose to the neck connection, the lower torso too. Not much issue though cause they weren't falling off, only loose when you applied slight pressure to remove them.

That's all I guess for this review. Oh, and did I mention I loved Iron Man armors? Yeah. I do.

Till next~
Vincent

P.s: The instruction manual came with a comic too! Oh joy!

Valentine's 2014. Operation Success~

Finally an update from me again! Yay! Doubt anyone actually still checks up on my blog. But I'll just greet..uh..the imaginary..readers..that I think I have. Recently two events just passed. What are they? Chinese New Year and Valentine's!

Aside from the, uh, small amount and continuously lessening amount of the Ang Pau or red packet, this year's Valentine's also falls on the 15th day of Chinese New Year or Lunar New Year. The Lunar New Year usually lasts for about 15 days cause that's when the new moon comes up or something like that. The 15th day of the Lunar New Year is known as Chap Goh Mei. As a tradition people would write messages or put down their contact details on a mandarin orange and throw them into a river or sea and let the waters deliver the oranges to any destination and if luck is on their side, someone would pick it up and contacts them. It's kinda like a traditional dating thingy, where the single guys hope a girls contacts them and vice versa.

Okaaayyyy, so 15th day of Lunar New Year or Chap Goh Mei is also known as Chinese Valentine's. If...I'm not mistaken. I think. I hope. ( <--- Embarrassment to my ancestors) So yeah, this year's 14th of February which is Valentine's Day also  falls on the 15th of the Lunar New Year. 

                                                   DOUBLE VALENTINE'S!!!

Yup, you can ignore the bold thingy. So I celebrated Valentine's with my dearest. We watched a movie, The Lego Movie. It was funny and... Everything. Is. Awesome. Totally. Awesome. Then we both headed over to Food Foundry. It's famous for it's Mille Crepe Cakes. Then we headed back to my girlfriend's house. No...not for sex.

Le two of us together at Food Foundry =D

I made a gift for her. (And also totally messed up my kitchen as well)

Chocolate Dipped Strawberries for my dearest <3

I was actually planning it to be like a dozen roses but meh, better luck next time. Glad she liked it though =) Then we had a little project with her wall.

She's so darn adorableeeeee ~

Made a heart on the wall with a bunch of post it notes. Was initially planning on just taking pictures in the heart and out of it with my girlfriend but then an idea came and I decided to write stuff on half of the hearts and she did the same. Wrote some stuff about us, our relationship and stuff.

My words on the post its.

Hers <3

Yeap, that's how it went for my Valentines =)
Even though spending everyday like it's Valentine's, you just have to up the game and do something extraordinarily special for a special occasion, even more so when your partner is extraordinary. Cause to accept being with me, that takes a lot of guts and uh...extraordinary stuff. =P

Till next time I guess~

Vince

P.s: She's so so cute isn't she?

My love. <3

So it is

One week and that's seven days, which is 168 hours, in turn makes it 10080 minutes, meaning 604800 seconds. Yeah, this is another post alright.

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There was "nothing" wrong, therefore "nothing" to talk about. That was what he kep repeating to himself in his thoughts. He had been indifferent. He had been cold. He had tried to cover it by momentarily showing warmth. He had acted responsive. He didn't like it. His true feelings eventually resurfaced again. Even Shina could tell something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" Shina had asked him a few times.

To which he would reply, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

Because it was "true". Because it was what she herself had told him. He had asked, and he had gotten his answer. Even if Shina was going to keep asking him if anything is wrong, he could only answer that there was nothing wrong at all. There was that one time, he was on his way home from purchasing supplies for a trip to the mountains. He turned a corner and saw Shina and Menx. They didn't notice him and he just turned and stayed behind that corner. He didn't mean to eavesdrop but what he heard made his blood boil.

"Hey, this may a little late and all, for the long period it is, but I'll just say I'm sorry." Vale heard Menx telling Shina.

"Oh, it's fine really. Don't have to worry about it." Shina replied.

"That still doesn't make it fine with me." Menx had said.

"No, really, it's fine. I don't hold grudges anyway." Shina told Menx.

This feeling of hatred was new to Vale. He was one who never held grudges. Always after sleeping it off, he would forget about any problems he might have with anyone and it was all fine. No grudge, no hate, no ill feelings whatsoever. It was different for Menx. He was the one person he never could forgive. Maybe for all the things he had said, and the things he did and promised and claimed, only turn his back against all those. This was one person Vale could not forgive. For he had apologized twice on occasion that was never really his fault. Only that Menx was making it such a big deal that Vale had took the blame for the sake of friendship. Rather than facing the issue, Menx had avoided and pushed the problems aside. 

This feeling of hatred embedded itself within Vale and eventually, the less he had to do with Menx, the better. Anyone he knows who knew Menx, as long as they didn't bring the Menx up, it was all fine. However, for someone like Shina, who knew clearly how he felt about this to do something like this and yet hide it from him, it fueled his hatred even more.

He stared at the dices in front of him which he was rolling absent-mindedly earlier. He had given her the chance to tell him. She probably didn't know that he already knew about this. Maybe she forgot, maybe she wanted to hide this, he did not know. He knew he had asked, and she had hid this knowledge. He only knows that now, it's all up to time and fate to decide. If this keeps on, he would be the one to walk away. Not because he hated Shina, but because of the hatred within him that it clouded over his heart.

They say, "Hate and Love are separated by a thin line." They forgot to mention that Love and Hate are one and the same. It was only the feeling behind them that determines the outcome. So he would let the dice roll for a little longer. Let this Game of Life go on for a little longer.

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Till next time.