[This is gonna be one of the longest post I've ever did. Be warned]
Recently, I've been watching a few on Wong Fu's short videos. Even repeated some of them up to 20 or so times. For some reason some of the videos just felt relate-able to me. The few that really caught my attention was
"Shell"
Probably the few that really got me through my depression stage.
15th June. That's today. This date and a few others are a significant part of my life. How so? They're just dates, how can numbers be anything? Well, it's because this "numbers" have a meaning to them. Maybe that's something about me that's a bit of a good thing, and a bad thing at times. I put meaning into a lot of things.
It was this date two years ago that I met her. We met and things just happened and we clicked. That was the start of one of the greatest moments in my life. We got together, we got to know each other, we learnt about each other. We spent time together and almost everyday, we would talk and ask about each others day. It was a great feeling, to love, and be loved. We shared almost everything with each other, no secrets, no lies. Just understanding. We had our occasional fights, but we always made up with each other. There was the occasional cold wars, but we still apologized to each other and we easily made up with each other. I guess I was a bit difficult to handle at times. But throughout our relationship of a year and nine months, we had more ups than downs. The times we spent together, the commute that I took to meet her everytime, whether it was her place or university, even though both of which took two hours, it was worth it.
I remember the day I introduced her to my parents, they took an instant liking to her, although firm with their point of concentrate on studies before relationship, they liked her nevertheless. I got introduced to her family as well, went on a trip together. The moments we shared together while working on our hobby, cosplaying. She was the first that made me go through so much and do so much as well as grow so much. Together, we learnt and faced so much. I was there for her when she was at her lowest, and she was always there for me when I was at my lowest. We were almost perfect for each other.
The only thing that wasn't was probably our timing. For awhile, for a long while in fact, the moments, the times were right. Close to a month before we broke up, I admit that I was being a bit difficult. I was at the point where I didn't know what I wanted to do and things was just going downhill around me, I may have took it out on her a bit, but she was there encouraging me while being busy with her own studies. To the point that I guess, it got too much to handle. When I found out she was thinking about "breaking up", truth be told, I was hurt. I always thought that we would work things out together, that we can face anything life throws at us.
I tried everything I could to show her that there was an alternative, that there was a way to work through this but I slowly came to accept the fact that, it wasn't right for me to force someone to stay when they didn't want to. I guess you were right when you said that we were young, that there was still so much ahead of us. So when you made your choice, it just wasn't right for me to hold you back. I truly believe though, that while we lasted, it was love and that I truly and full-heartedly loved you.
You said you wanted to focus on your studies and get a degree. I'm sure you can achieve that. As for me, I should concentrate on completing mine. We both agreed that we would stay friends, though awkward as it may be at first.
All I can do now is to wish you all the best, as much as I want to be there for you every step of the way as you were for me, I can only do so as a friend now. If you ever need some supportive help, I would be there for you as a friend.
Will we hate each other?
This was taken from "Strangers Again". Something that I hope we can both understand if you end up reading this.
"I think that if life separates us, and we end up in totally different places, I'd always remember when our paths aligned for this period in time. And I'll be thankful. And I'll hope that, wherever you are, you'd be thankful too. I think that's the best we could wish for."
I just hope you wouldn't hate me. It's time I let you go. "Keep the memories, but let her go. If things were meant to be, it will happen" they say. I guess that's what I will do. So this "Box of Memories" of mine, I would cherish it.
I'm jut glad we both ended it on mutual, good terms.
And that's the best I could wish for.
Thank you. For everything.
Hope that everything will work out in the end, someday, somewhere.
