Acceptance, Hope, and Possibilities

So it has finally come to a close. A separation. We both go out separate ways with the mutual agreement that, right now, we have other priorities in life. I was glad that it ended on good terms. I'm not saying it doesn't hurt, but we managed to work this out. 

The times we've had were great. With more ups than downs. We both understood each others perfect imperfections. Putting smiles on each others face, being there for each other, sharing ideas and thoughts. I will miss the company, I will miss the touch, I will miss the embrace, I will miss the warmth. I let it go not because my feelings faded, it hasn't. Rather, because the feelings were strong that I wanted her to explore the world, see her possibilities, and achieve what she can. I'm sure she thinks that of me too. There was so much that I wanted to say, to hold her back. But that would only be selfish of me. She meant so much more to me.

She's seen me at my lowest point. She's seen my dark side. She's seen my vulnerable point. My flaws and imperfections. Time would heal I know, and during then, I would improve on myself. I would achieve what I can. Reach for the furthest I can go. So that someday, if our paths crossed again, she would see me at my best. This period, I am glad that we both agreed to salvage what we had and try being friends. The memories would serve as a stepping stone to improve myself.

I would miss her from time to time. She would meet other people, learn new things. I would probably think about her from time to time. But I know that, I have to work on my flaws. At my age, I believe I have a vague idea of what I want in life. When my personal well being is taken care of, then I may, pursue her again. I might not, but I might.

 

I have hopes. Hopes of possibilities.

 

 

P.S: I'd be there if you need me. For I made a promise. A promise at the resting bed of a significant person. That I would be there for you as long as you need me. Maybe not as intimate as before, but a listening ear, a shoulder for you to lean on, a relaxed moment of laughter, a back for you to hide behind, and someone who understands you without needing words.

It's never the end till you're six feet underground.

Of acceptance, priorities, and life.

Oh! Today is Mother's Day! Not that it should mean you should only treat your mom specially today. However, it being a day dedicated to that one important person who gave life to you, it should be extra special. Do cherish your mom wherever you are. A phone call, a video call, a card, flowers, dinner, meal together. Anything can do. She spent years bringing us up, caring for us, facing our tantrums and attitude. You only get one mom. 

Knowing that, eveyday should be mother's day, but for those out there whose life get's in the way in the sense of work, just one day won't kill you =) 

That little concern, that little time, could go a long long way for the one who suffered 9 months to bring us into the world. Who continued to look after us after those 9 long months and shared our joy and sadness as well as pain, success, and stayed with us each step we took in life. =)

A child is closest to their mother because, while in her care, it was two hearts beating in one.

Happy Mother's Day =) 

My lovely mom =)

p.s: I've come to the point that, whatever happens, I'm ready for it. I've already did all that I could and left all others to be seen and felt. I believe things will work one way or another, in a certain manner, in some plot twist. It just happens =)

How

It's been a long time since my cheeks had this much moisture. Not in a good way. I really don't know what I should do other than pretend and go along with everything.

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Everything was fine

Everythng was great

When did it all changed?

When did it all happened?

How can you take it

If someone you cared so much for

Just stopped caring

Words of endearment no longer meant anything

The warmth that just isn't the same

The passion that just isn't there

How can you take it

If someone your heart has found a home in

Just sweeps it away

Apologies meant nothing

Memories brushed aside

Live life not even bothered

How can you take it

When you start to miss the passion

When you start to long for the laughter

When you don't even know whether to call out words of endearment

When you start to break apart

Knowing that you yourself caused this

When the question surfaces

"What's wrong?"

And you know what's wrong

But the words just catches itself

You choke back words and tears alike

And pretend that nothing was amiss

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 I really don't know anymore. What's right to do, what's wrong. What should I say, what can't I say.

 I find relief in writing. Cause at least there's a way for me to release myself. That's what writing is for isn't it?