Turn

 I was glad. Glad that I could show you that I could do something for you. Deep down we're not that different at all.

Sometimes it doesn't really show, but I am trying. To improve, to succeed, and to provide security. Yes, it may seem I don't have much to offer now, but I've never stopped giving. 

I am doing what I can. I am doing what I know best. What the future brings, we never know. Why not take a leap of faith? I know I can be better, I know I can be just as good. I know I have it in me.

It's not that I didn't want to. It's just that I wanted to be sure. I wanted to know. I wanted to be ready for what I will end up doing for the next decade of my life. I want to be able to show you that I am as capable as any other person.

We can be stronger. We can go through this. We can and I know.

"Faith can turn things around. Where there is darkness, there can be light" - Victoria Osteen

Have faith.

p.s.:

Please, don't take this the wrong way. I am in no way pressuring. I just want myself and you to remember what we've been through and how we got through them. I have become a better person since then and I am still improving myself. That should be something in itself =)

They say things we want to

Writing is really a way to take your mind off things. Why? Because you think of what to type out next to each word and then you think whether you used the right words, right grammar or even right vocabulary in that one sentence. Then you check the sentences for typo error. Makes me wonder why I never took up copywriting. Probably cause I only when the mood hits.

Lately my mind keeps remembering this one song. For some reason it's set on auto repeat.

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I'm telling you

I softly whisper

Tonight...

Tonight...

You are my angel

Aishiteru yo

Futari wa hitotsu ni

Tonight...

Tonight...

I just say

Wherever you are, I'll always make you smile

Wherever you are, I'm always by your side

Whatever you say, Kimi wo omou kimochi

I promise you forever right now

I don't need a reason

I just want you baby

Alright...
Alright...
Day after day

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 Wherever you are by One Ok Rock http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NouEgC8RtxE

I remember singing this song, and I meant every word. Took me awhile to pick this song because, I don't say forever easily, but when I do, I want it to mean something.

Believe - 101

101th. That's this post number. No celebration for this though.

I believe that things happen for a reason. It's to make us see what matters and to grow stronger.

I believe in promises. Because I try my best to never break any of them if I could.

I believe that we can change. Because I am trying to change for the better.

I believe in feelings. It's what makes life be what it is.

I believe that everything has a solution. Because the world would be doomed if it came to a standstill.

I believe in chances. That's where you find opportunity, changes, and new experiences.

I believe in many things but this, I think this few are what matters most.

I also believe in what we had. I believe in you.

Giving

It's not normal for me to be posting so often. But who cares anyway? I'm not posting for anyone. Sometimes we just need words to voice out what we can't say not because we can't, but we're afraid of what the consequences are as well as how it may sound.

I care a lot about things. When things that matter to me most are before me, I would do what I can to make things work. When life get's in the way, I believe that there are ways to overcome. I moan, I cry, and yes, I complain. But we all do. What matters after is that whether you pick yourself up or come to a stand still. Whether we just leave things as is and turn to another. Most of us would pick ourselves up. That's a given. 

Life's a bell curve, you go up, where the happy times are, then you fall, for those are the times where you learn what matters most. Everyone is built different and that being too much alike only repels. Why are we built differently? Cope differently? That's the way we are made. My personal guess is that we were meant to complement the lack in another whilst the other does the same.

I give everything I have. Not because I can. Not because it's a must. It's because I want to. It's because I see something in it. I value the things that come by. We give a little, we sacrifice a little. We gain a little, we receive a little.

There are multiple ways to make it through. Believe in me who believes in you.

Minds and thoughts

Thinking too much and worrying over things. That's human. I'm worried yes. So much. I'd give anything just to have the good times back. When it didn't matter as long as we we're together, we could do anything.

Love is a test of time, not feelings. Feelings come and go as time passes. What matters is that both party can find the feeling to stay strong together.

You can't change how a person thinks. Their mind is their own. You can only convince them to see that there are other alternatives.

Change. We are made for change. If there is something not so desirable, you are always entitled to change that part of you for the better. Humans don't act and stay as they are, we adapt and change and make ourselves better.

Breaking up is the easy way of taking things. So you can just run away. That's what they say. I really never thought of this. I've only thought of, how do we work through this? How do we fix this?

I just feel like poring all this out. I feel better letting this out in words than to keep it pent up inside of me. I feel, I know, I understand.

Of aches and changes

I've been drifting in and out of sleep. I can't even think well. Why is it that everytime April comes, everything has to be so hard? I'm not sure if it's April having some vengeance on me or whatnot.

Sometimes, it amazes me how feelings can change so fast. How promises don't mean a thing and memories are just, memories.

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I've tried my best

I've given my best

Little did I know

That even that was not enough

A little doubt

A little thought

It was all it takes

To cause so much pain

Love is hard

Love is painful

But I know it's just as rewarding

But I know it's just as worth it

The things we had

The things we did

I had hoped that it would be strong enough

I had hoped that it would hold us together

All I hope for

Is that things work out

Is that memories meant something

Is that you would find that feeling again

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I am so messed up. Why? This is the thing about feelings. It's shocking. It changes so fast. 

So fast, so much.... That it's so scary. I hate myself for doing this to myself.

Risks and stakes

They say, that when someone has nothing to lose, nothing left to be tied to, they are free. There is nothing at stake. Nothing to hold them back. Nothing to stop them.

When someone has something to lose, something they care for, they are tied. There is so much at risk. Every move has to be made carefully.

Most of the world have something they live for. Something that they hang on to. Someone even. Everyone has something to lose. To be free of being tied, is just too small a margin to be.

I am the same like everyone else. I have something and someone to lose. I cannot be free, yet I do not want to be free.

WE are all made to look for love. Even if it hurts us in more ways than one, yet we still look for it. Masochistic maybe, but it's the one thing that everyone deems worth it. Even if scrapped, broken, torn, hit and thrown.

I have something and someone to lose. I wonder, am I in the same position to anyone else?

I wonder if I am held on to, afraid to be let go off.